Battle scars
by Thaye
Summary: During the battle, Kili gets gravely injured while defending Thorin against Azog. Only thanks to Dwalin's quick reaction he manages to survive. Will he be able to enjoy the resurgence of their ancient kingdom despite the difficulties of his recovery? (during/post bofa, everyone lives, rating to be save)
1. Chapter 1

„Come on lads, you've heard him!" Dwalin pulled his axe out of the last orc's torso as he was throwing a worried look back at Thorin. The king had ordered him to bring his nephews safely back to the mountain and never before had Dwalin disobeyed any of his king's orders.

„No!" Kili complained, drawing his sword and moving towards his uncle with a stubborn expression.

„We can't leave without you, uncle!" Kili was right, that Dwalin was sure of. Azog the defiler was still somewhere close and every instinct within the old warrior told him, not to abandon Thorin, because he would need all the help he could get when it came down to slaying Azog.

Fili was standing next to him, an unreadable look in his eyes, as the older brother seemed to search the fort for any signs of threat. The air around them had fallen strangely silent. Orc corpses scattered the floor like a grotesque mosaic, dark blood mixing with the white snow, painting a terrifying scenery of war.

„Fili, Kili. Go with Dwalin. I will take care of this!" Thorin's voice was nothing more than a deep rumble, his resolve unbroken as he motioned for them to leave.

„Take Bilbo with you, he has seen enough battle", he added. Bilbo, already standing behind Dwalin, clenched his teeth before nodding hesitantly.

„I- I think we should go", the hobbit said, his voice trembling despite himself. He didn't want to leave Thorin either but he had seen the determination in the king's eyes. He knew that, this time, Thorin would not fail.

„Have you all lost your mind?" Kili spat. „If we leave now he will make a perfect target for Azog." Eagerly, enforcing his point, Kili stomped his feet, not moving an inch. Dwalin let out a desparate sigh. Why could this stubborn young dwarf never understand when it was better to just obey a command without asking questions. Thorin would have his reasons to send them away, to safety. Shaking his head, Dwalin reached out and grabbed Kili's arm.

„You will follow me. Now!" He ordered.

Before Kili could yank his arm free of Dwalin's firm grip, Fili held up a hand.

„Something is coming!" He shouted, drawing his weapon, but he was already too late. From the projecting rock above them came a spiteful laughter, before a pale white shadow dropped down right to where Thorin stood.

„Azog!" Bilbo yelped and scurried back a few steps, only to land on his rear and being pulled up again by Dwalin.

The defiler wasted no time with words. His morning star came down with a sickening crack and Thorin jumped out of harms way on the last second, raising _Orcrist_ to defend himself. He moved quickly and with a few fast steps he was behind the pale orc before he could lift his deadly weapon once more. An angry cry ripped through Thorin's throat as he attacked Azog from behind, but the orc turned around, dodging the attack with the blade that replaced his lower arm.

„You dwarven filth!" Azog spat, lifting his morning star again but it was stuck in the ice. Before he could pull it out, Thorin attacked again.

Dwalin, Bilbo, Fili and Kili were watching the fight before them with horror, unable to move for the split second it had taken Thorin to make his first moves. Kili was the first one to budge. Before Dwalin could even react, he pulled his arm out of the now-loosened grip and moved towards the battle scene, careful not to draw the orc's attention just yet.

Azog had given up on his morning star, attacking Thorin with his razor sharp blade instead. Despite his size, the orc was moving quicker than Thorin had expected and it took his whole concentration not to lose his focus and run into the deadly blade. It was when he saw something moving on the edge of his vision, that Azog took the chance and pushed forward hard, sending the distracted dwarf to the ground. Before Thorin could react, the pale orc stood over him, a sickening grin splitting his face as he muttered something in the orcs guttural tongue.

„Uncle!" Without thinking about the consequences, Kili leaped forward, ignoring his brother's frantic cries. Azog raised his arm to deliver the final blow.

It all happened too fast, though for Kili time seemed to pass in slow motion. He reached Thorin, who was already raising his sword in defense although he knew that he could never dodge this attack in time.

The last thing Kili saw was the surprised look on Azog's face, before a white hot tearing sensation ripped through his torso, knocking all breath out of him and suffocating the scream that was about to leave his lips. Though his vision went black immediately, Kili could still hear his uncle's pained howl and the orc's shriek before he hit the ground and his lights went out.

„Kiliiiii!" Fili was struggling violently in Dwalin's grip, while Azog's blade pierced his brother's body with a sickening smacking sound. Even from the distance he could tell that it went right through Kili. Fili couldn't imagine that anyone would ever recover from such a blow. His heart was racing painfully as he dropped to his knees, heaving dry as shock got a hold of him. Still he was unable to look away from this dreadful scenery.

Thorin, however reacted quick. He had been in too many battles and had seen too many friends die to stop now. He launched forward and without a warning he brought down his swort on Azog's shoulder, cutting deep into the flesh, breaking the bone and severing the limp. The pale orc cried out in pain as he staggered back, clutching the stump with his extant hand, trying frantically to stop the bleeding. As Thorin came closer to deliver the final blow, Azog was unarmed, his morning star too far off to reach.

„This is for my father!" Thorin thrust his sword into the pale orc's chest who shrieked at the slicing sensation. The king's gaze was unforgiving, loss and hatred shining in his eyes.

„And for my grandfather!" With a final stike, he cut off Azog's head in a swift motion just as the orc had done with Thror years ago.

Azog the defiler was finally defeated.

Thorin had no chance to enjoy his victory. As he was able to tear his gaze from the unmoving eyes of his defeated enemy, he could hear frantic cries behind him.

„Kili! Kili can you hear me? Oh Kili… please open your eyes, please!" His older nephews tormented begging ripped through Thorin's consciousness like a lightning bolt, sending his mind back to reality. He whirled around and ran towards where Fili was crouched over his brother's unmoving body. Thorin dropped to his knees next to his nephew, wanting to comfort him but couldn't bring out even one word.

„You stubborn idiot!" Fili wailed, clenching his hands into fists. Thorin tentatively placed a hand on Fili's back, but he shrugged him off.

Without a word, Dwalin approached with a hurried stride. He dropped to one knee and placed two fingers on Kili's neck. Seconds passed agonoizingly until a gleam of relief passed over the warrios's face.

„He's still alive! We have to get him to a healer. _Immidiately_!" He stated, hiding the exitement in his voice. It was too early to get their hopes up. The blade was still embedded in Kili's torso and he had lost a lot of blood. But the worst thing they could do now was to-

„We… we should pull the blade out!" Fili exclaimed, reaching fort he severed limp, a hint of disgust shining in his eyes. Dwalin's reaction was fast. He reached out and held the young heir's hand in a tight grip, stopping the motion.

„Don't pull it out! If you want your brother to live it must stay in for now!" He threw Thorin a questioningly look. The king hesitated for a split second before nodding his approvement.

„Dwalin is right", he stated, his voice was hoarse and near to cracking. While Fili's tears were flowing freely, Thorin had to muster all his strengh not to give in to his grief. Not yet.

„Y- you are leaving _it_ in?" Bilbo piped up from the background. The poor hobbit had almost fainted when Kili dashed forward to save his uncle. Now he was approaching the group on shaky legs.

„Yes. We must cut the end off or else it will tear apart his organs if we pull it out", Dwalin answered bluntly, pointing to the blade's barbed structure at the end, little spikes that were pointed in the opposite direction. Bilbo hadn't noticed them sofar, now he swallowed hard, trying his best not to throw up and making the situation worse.

„So what do you suggest?" Fili asked after drawing in a deep shuttering breath.

„I will carry him", Dwain replied, tugging one hand around the unconscious dwarf's shoulders, reaching for his legs with the other, when Thorin motioned for him to wait.

The air was full of swirrling sounds and they could hear the flapping of wings. Craning his neck, Bilbo squinted his eyes to make out the source of the noise. His face lit up immediately.

„I think that won't be necessary Dwalin!" The hobbit cheered. He began waving his arms and jumping up and down despite the nauseous feeling in his stomach, as he tried to guide them, although the eagles must have already spotted the little group.

The first of the majestic birds wrapped it's claws around the Hobbit, eliciting a suprised yelp from Bilbo as he was carried away. The second one landed on the small plateau, long enough for Thorin to mount it. He held out a hand for his nephew, but Fili shook his head fervently.

„I am not leaving him!" he shouted, clutching his brother's hand as if he feared to be torn away from him. Thorin sighed.

„It won't be for long, I promise. But Dwalin has to stay with Kili!" He once again motioned for Fili to join him.

„Why can't _I_ stay with him?" Fili pleaded, tears glimming in his eyes as he pushed himself up.

„You can't hold yourself and Kili atop if the ride gets rougher. Dwalin is simply stronger than you." Thorin's answer was sobering.

With one last look at Kili's unmoving frame draped over Dwalin's arms, he joined his Uncle before the eagle took off.


	2. Chapter 2

The flight back to Erebor's gates was short. Too long for Fili. His mind was racing, working through a million different scenarios of what could happen. His fists were clenched tightly around a bundle of feathers, his face hidden underneath a tousled curtain of blonde hair. Still Fili couldn't believe what had just happened. One second, his brother had been standing next to him and the other his blood splattered the floor as the blade pushed through him. Fili shook his head to get rid of the image but the attempt was futile as the terrible scenery kept returning in front of his inner eye.

The worst thing was a thought flashing through him, telling him that all of it could have been prevented. That _he_ could have prevented it. He should have refused his uncles order and stayed by his side. That way, he would have been there to stog Azog. Kili wouldn't have to jump in between. It all seemed so simple now. Just one little mistake, one stupidly wrong decision on his side and everything went wrong. Tears sprang to Fili's eyes once more but he didn't care to wipe them away.

Kili could die today. And it would be his fault alone. Fili swallowed hard against the lump in his throat, suddenly feeling suffocated by the feeling of guilt weighing down on him. Thorin seemed to notice his nephews distress and turned around

„Fili. We're almost there." The words offered little comfort but they forced Fili to raise his head and face Thorin. He was taken aback when he saw the look on his uncles face that mirrored his own expression. The same guilt and regret shone in those blue eyeswhen they had been so restrained mere seconds ago. But the moment only lasted for a few seconds before Thorin turned his back at him again and Fili was once more left alone with the gnawing feeling that was consuming his heart.

* * *

„Please, you have to help us! He is injured!" The elven camp where the eagles had dropped them was full of busy warriors and archers, running back and forth and shouting hasty commands. Fili's voice was desperate as he shouted at the elf guard in front of the biggest tent. But the look on the guards face was unmoving. With growing frustration, the young dwarf stepped closer to the elf, raising his hands pleadingly.

„Come on, we need your help!" It was against all his dignity to beg an elf for help, but they could not find another healer. The time it would take to search for Oin on the battlefield would presumably be too much for Kili to hold on. When the elf did still not answer, Fili grabbed the handle of his sword, stepping closer. The elf-guard drew a dagger and without a warning, stepped forward until the shining blade rested on Fili's throat.

„We don't have time to care about your problems, dwarf!" The last word was spat in disgust. The guard's eyes were gleaming with anger on the impudence of those before him.

Thorin stepped forward, resting a firm hand on Fili's shoulder, slowly dragging him backwards. His eyes locked with the guard's,

„Please", the king began, trying his best to keep his voice from cracking.

„We can't afford to wait any longer. He is my nephew and he will die if you don't help him." Thorin threw a quick look back at Dwalin who was carrying the still unmoving Kili, before returning his gaze to the elf, not wanting to show any more weakness than nescessary.

„We have no ressources to help your kin", the guard answered, his expression still unforgiving.

„We have our own wounded to care for." And with that, the guard retreated to his post, pretending not to notice the increasing fury that occupied the young blonce dwarf.

„You can't be serious!" Fili screamed and shouted, struggling against his uncles grip that pulled him away from the guard.

„Come on. We have to find Oin", the king ordered, dragging his nephew behind him as he turned and started walking away, Dwalin on his heels.

They left the camp and headed for the battlefield. Fili's hope was sinking with every dwarven corpse they passed on their way. He tried to avoid looking at them but couldn't tear his gaze away. One of them could be Oin and they would never find any help for Kili. His brother would die just as all the other fallen warriors on the battlefield. There wouldn't be a fancy future for Kili, only a fancy burial. Fili shook his head fervently to drive away the dark toughts as he tried to keep up with Thorin and Dwalin's stride. He only now realized that Bilbo was missing. The eagle must have dropped him at a different place.

„Fili!" A familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he almost bumped into his uncle as Thorin had stopped without a warning. Fili's gaze searched his surrounding fort he shout's source. His face lit up a bit when he saw the man running towards them.

„I've been looking for you! Some of your companions are waiting for you in my tent", Bard stated, a bit out of breath as he motioned fort he little group to follow him.

„Bard, have you seen Oin?" Fili did not dare to get his hope up. He nodded in Dwalin's direction. Bard followed his motion and blanched as he saw the younger brother's unmoving frame and the nasty blade protruding from his chest. He winced.

„Can't he _ever_ keep himself unharmed?" He shook his head, returning his attention to Fili.

„Follow me, your friends are waiting." Not waiting for an answer, Bard turned on his heel and started to walk into a diferent direction. Fili threw Thorin a questioning glanze, not sure wether or not to follow Bard. He hadn't answered his question about Oin and they could be wasting precious time. But Thorin nodded and motioned for him to go.

„We follow him. Hurry!" With that, Thorin sprinted after Bard who had already a decent lead on them.

* * *

The tent they approached was small and looked pretty battered. Bard was waiting for them at the entrance. Fili arrived first, pretending that his lungs were not burning and is legs not aching from running so fast. He cluched his side and tried to catch his breath as he pushed through the entrance and inside the tent, Thorin right behind him.

„Fili, Thorin!" It was Ori who jumped to his feet immidiately, scurrying towards the tent to hold open the flap for Dwalin to enter. When he saw Kili, he yelped in shock, his eyes wide open as he turned around.

„Oin!" He didn't even gave Fili or Thorin the chance to explain before running to the back oft he tent where the old healer was sitting next to a makeshift table, cleaning his recently used medical tools. When Ori came running towards him, a frantic edge to his tone, he stood up.

„What's the matter lad?" He asked tiredly, holding up his battered ear trumpet.

„Oin! Thank Mahal we found you!" Fili pulled the healer into a quick embrace before stepping aside and pointing towards Dwalin, tears once again trying to occupie his eyes.

„You have to help us", Fili begged, his voice cracking halfway as his stern facade crumpled and sobs began to shake his whole body.

„In Aule's name, Fili", the old healer followed Fili's outstretched hand to where Dwalin was standing.

„What happened?" He rushed to Dwalin's side, tentatively pulling away the ripped cloth around the wound in Kili's torso, wincing as he saw the wound's position.

„Oin, can you help him?" Thorin stepped forward, his eyes begging the healer for agreement. He searched Oins expression fort he confidence he himself lacked.

„I`ll try my best, but…" Oin motioned for Dwalin to lay Kili down on his side. The old warrior did as he was told and dropped to one knee, slowly and carefully placing the unmoving body down without touching the blade. Oin lowered his voice, turning to Thorin solely so that Fili could not hear them.

„I can't promise anything. He might be still breathing but I have never seen someone recovering from such a wound. I need to be honest Thorin. I don't have much confidence. I'm sorry." The old healer shook his head, a sad expression tearing through his sternly facade. Fili only catched a glympse from what had happened but it drained all energy from him to see Oin so helplessly.

„B- but you will try, right?" Fili's voice was trembling. He couldn't believe how his uncle and Oin acted as if Kili was already gone. Oin sighed, turning around.

„Yes we will try. But I need assistance." He looked over to Dwalin and the warrior nodded, stepping closer. Fili also ventured closer to his brother's body but Oin shook his head fervently.

„No, Fili. You stay back. Bofur! Dori! Get your asses over here!" Two figures appeared in the entrance behind Thorin. They both looked tired and were decorated with various cuts and bruises, but other than that seemed unharmed. As Bofur stepped closer, taking in the scenery before him, he swore in Khuzdul and clenched his fists.

„I hope you made that bastard pay for that!" he cursed.

„We don't have time to talk about that now", Oin retorted.

„You have to assist me. Dori, grab his legs and hold fast, Bofur hold his hands. I don't want any surprises as I take a closer look!" Oin dropped down besides Kili and began to cut away his clothing, pulling out a pair of pliers, to cut away the chain mail where needed. Pulling it off in whole was impossible at this point. As soon as the disturbing armor was out of the way, Oin sucked in a sharp breath. Fili's doubts grew even bigger. He had retreated into the tent's corner, accepting a mug of tea from Ori. Thorin was still standing next to the entrance, talking to Bard in a hushed voice.

„We can't pull the blade out as it is", Oin mumbled and Dwalin nodded in agreement.

„Can we cut the end off somehow?" Bofur asked but Oin shook his head.

„Not he blade is too heavy, we don't have the means to cut it." Oin paused, pondering the issue for a second.

„The only way is to loosen the other end", he finally said. Dwalin frowned in confusion.

„The blade is embedded in the arm but there are no spikes on that side", Oin explained, pointing towards the severed orc limp.

„We need to cut it out." Oin drew a sharp knife from his supplies, handing it over to Dwalin who nodded and started to work.

It took several minutes to free the blade's end from the dead flesh and Fili grew more and more nervous as every second could mean that Kili was closer to death. He didn't realize Thorin leaving the tent and he did not see the desperate look in his uncles eyes as he couldn't stand he guilt anymore.

* * *

„Kili can count himself lucky to be unconscious", Oin mumbled, as they had finally managed to get the blade's end free. It was thinner than the spiked end and it would be easy to pull it out as long as Kili didn't move.

„Why is that?" Bofur asked. He had let go of Kili's arms minutes ago as the young dwarf had not moved a single time. From time to time, the toymaker would place two hesitant fingers at Kili's neck to feel his pulse.

„I can only imagine the pain. Wouldn't want to be in his spot", Oin answered as he positioned himself to pull out the blade. His hands were protected by heavy leather gloves.

„Ready?" Oin grabbed the blade and gave it a trying tug. It pulled out only a tiny bit and to Oin's dismay, Kili's eyes fluttered open at the movement. The young dwarf's mouth opened, but only a strangles gasp escaped his lips.

„Kili?" Fili stumbled forward, his eyes opened wide in horror as his little brother began to struggle against the searing pain in his chest. A muffled scream tore from Kili's throat.

„Fili, stay back!" Oin shouted and swore under his breath. Kili's struggles became stronger.

„Dori, Bofur hold him down!" He had no other choice. If he didn't want to torture Kili any longer, the blade had to come out immidiately.

„No, stop!" Fili screamed in panic. „You're hurting him! Please! There must be another way!" Fili rushed forward to yank Oin's hands away from his little brother, but Dwalin was on his feet in an instant.

„Fili, calm down!" he growled, tossing the young dwarf back.

„No! He can feel _everything_! Can't we at least numb his pain somehow?" Fili struggled against Dwalin's hold but he was no match for the warrior.

„Too late. It has to be done now!" Oin snapped, pulling hard on the blade. Kili's pained screams tore through Fili's chest, clenching an invisible fist around his heart. Dwalin pushed him back to the entrance as Fili's struggles were getting stronger.

„Filiiii!" The only word Kili could manage to formulate in his agony-driven mind. He tried to throw out his hands, to hold onto anything, but Bofur held him down relentlessly.

„Kilii!" His scream was broken as a hand reached through the tents entrance, pulling him out of Dwalin's grip and into the cold air. Fili struggled and kicked, unable to determine wether there was a threat upon him or not.

A palm hit his face hard and the scream got stuck in his throat. Dumbstruck, Fili wavered on his feet, before strong hands grabbed his shoulders and steadied him.

„Fili! Get a hold of yourself!" Thorin growled and for a moment he looked into his nephews terrified eyes, that were opened wide in shock. His resolve faltered and he pulled Fili closer, wrapping his arms around the shivering dwarf.

„It's going to be alright, Fili!" Thorin forced his voice to remain low as he tried to sooth his nephew.

„Have trust in Oin. He has had worse than that." Thorin knew that he was telling a lie. Never before had any of them seen such a wound without the person dying within an hour or less.

Lacking something else to hold onto as his brothers screams ripped through his whole being, Fili clenched his fingers around the fur of Thorin's cloak, sobs wracking through his whole body. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that his uncle was lying, but he couldn't bring himself to think about it now. The only thing he felt was the pure agony that tore his heart into pieces.

* * *

 **Hello there :) I hope you liked the first two chapters of my new fanfic**

 **To my defense: I'm not a native speaker but I'm trying my best ;)**

 **Please let me know if you like it and what I can improve :)**

 **Greetings, Thaye :)**


	3. Chapter 3

A dark edge gnawed at her vision as her fingers got more and more numb. Underneath her dangling feet, a seemingly endless abyss opened it's yaws, ready to swallow her whole. She did not dare to look down. Her forehead rested against the cold stone wall and her eyes were half shut. The only thing she could see were the tiny snowflakes, dancing around her face and resting on her cheeks and nose. They seemed so strangely peaceful and harmless compared to the raging battle that was taking place on the desolated land in front of the lonely mountain. Her chest rose and fell in an irregular pattern, sending little white clouds swirling softly through the chilled air until they dissolved somewhere above her head.

The battle sounds, echoing from the plateau had ceased and Tauriel couldn't hear anything except for her own breathing and the wind blowing over the mountain edges. Only with great fortune had she managed to hold onto the tiny outcrop that protruded from the steep wall. Her enemy had not been so lucky. Bolg's screams still resounded in her head, minutes after the orc had plunged into the freezing chasm below. The elf shuddered at the thought of being pierced by a sharp rock or her body being crashed by the unforgiving ground. No one would find her body, torn into pieces by predators or rotting into an unrecognizable corpse.

She shook her head. Now was not the time to worry about what could have happened. Not that it couldn't still come true. Her knuckles were turning white, as her fingers desperately tried to maintain their grip on the sharp-edged stone. She wouldn't be able to hold on much longer.

Tentatively, Tauriel raised her head, her gaze seeking the edge of the plateau. Her heart sunk immediately as she couldn't even catch a glympse oft he wall's end above her. She was way too far down for someone to reach her. Plus she didn't even know if anybody was still alive up there. The dwarves could be dead and buried for all she knew. Pain spiked through her skull as she struggled to pull one leg up, feeling for something to put her foot on for support. Her toes caught on a little protruding section and it withstood the weight she tried to put on it. It made her spirits rise slightly. Maybe she could manage to climb up. She could really do it.

Nothing could have been more motivating than the sight of the three giganting creatures, that suddenly appeared on the sky as out oft hin air. Their wings were huge as their movement stirred up the air around her and nearly swiped her off the little support she had gained.

„The eagles!" she whispered in astonishment, watching the majestic creatures as they swung up to the plateau. Tauriels mind began to race. If the eagles were here to safe them, it must mean that the dwarves were still alive. Her face lit up at the thought of the brown haired dwarf she had saved from Bolg's deadly blade. He had made it. They were being rescued, _she_ would be rescued!

Nothing could have been more disheartening than the sight of the eagles leaving. She could tell that they were carrying several persons – dwarves presumably – but it was unable to tell who exactly.

„No", Tauriel breathed. For a second she had to suppress the urge to wave and shout at the eagles for it would cost her every hold she had on the rocky surface. A strange feeling began to spread in her chest though she couldn't tell what it was. It didn't take long for her to lose sight oft he giant birds that were carrying away her only hope to escape this misery. The air became silent once more and the only thing Tauriel could hear was her own heart pounding in her chest, trying to escape her ribcage. It hurt and blood began to rush in her ears as she squeezed her eyes shut to will away the suspicion that was slowly creeping up on her. She didn't want to believe it. There would be a way to explain the situation that wouldn't confirm what her mind was trying to tell her.

 _They left without me…_

No, they propably didn't even know she was still there. The last thing they saw was her falling down a cliff with a raging orc that was armed to the teeth. She herself would not believe that anyone could survive it to be left dangling from an outcrop, without enough energy to even do so much as cry for help. They did the only right thing. They saved themself so they could support their friends on the battlefield.

 _But_ he _would have looked for me… wouldn't he?_

It was a stupid thought, a childish hope she was clinging onto. That somehow this dwarven prince would care enough about her to see if she – against all odds – survived the fall from the cliff. But she had been proven wrong already. No one had come for her. They had left, rescued themself, not cared about an elf that would only cause them more trouble anyways. She was wounded and she had lost her weapon during the fall. There was no way that a dwarf would turn around and take her with them. The slight feeling of belonging she had felt when Thranduil had banished her from mirkwood and she decided to assist the dwarves was gone. How could she have been so stupid as to believe that she could belong anywhere? Who was she trying to fool with her naive wish?

The abyss beneath her was inching closer. It opened it's deadly, cold arms to wrap her in it's comforting embrace. It would be so easy. Just one tiny step and that aching feeling in her chest would cease forever. Tauriel closed her eyes. What was she still fighting for? The world was turning darker and darker with every day that passed. Even if they would win this battle, there would only be more violence and suffering to come. Why should she fight? Even Thranduil had already given up on the world.

The grip of her fingers loosened ever so slightly. A sad smile played around her lips. She had heard once that free falling felt like flying. She wanted to fly so desperately.

But still – she could not do it. She couldn't bring herself. Something was holding her back. The tight feeling in her chest grew stronger and it burned with a passion, that almost frightened her. In her bewilderment, Tauriel tried to place the feeling as she had never felt it before in her entire life. It was a longing. A longing to hold onto life despite the chaos in it. A longing to experience joy with the one she wanted to be with. The one that she trusted, that cared about her when no one had done before. A silhouette formed in her mind, then a face. Dark brown eyes that pierced her soul with warmth and happiness. She wanted to drown in the feeling, wanted it to swallow her whole. She couldn't give up on something blissful like that.

Tauriel opened her eyes abruptly, her fingers clenching tight around the outcrop. She would return to him. Even if he had left her, she would at least try to find the happiness her heart was aching for.

* * *

„Gandalf!" The wizard turned around at the sound of a hectic voice behind him. He was feeling kind of tired and worn out after the weeks of excitement. His grey robe was ragged and dirty at some places and he was leaning heavily on his staff. He longed for his good pipe wheet but he had used all of it ages ago. He was standing in front of Thranduil's tent, savoring the silence only for a second. Now that he saw Bard approaching, he straightened himself.

„You sound concerned Master Bard", he offered the man a questioning look that soon turned into a frown as he saw the serious expression in Bards face.

„Thorin sent me", Bard answered, coming to a halt in front of the wizard. He felt like a messenger, being sent back and forth, always rushing to find someone, only to be sent away again.

„He requires your assistance."

The wizard's brows were drawn together in concern. He was not one to be supersticious, but something felt odd. Thorin – in his stubbornness – would surely have rather send one of his fellow dwarves to look for him than send Bard. That only meant that either they all were occupied or something had happened and they were unable to leave.

„Well, we should not let him wait then I guess", he answered slowly, nodding in his own agreement, as he made to leave the tent's entrance and follow Bard who was already turning to leave.

„He lives then?" A voice behind them stopped them in their tracks. It was Thranduil, now stepping out of the tent, his face the usual mask of indifference, though his eyebrows were raised in a questioning manner.

Gandalf turned around again and nodded. There was no use in keeping any secrets from Thranduil fort he elven king would find out about it nevertheless.

„Yes, it seems", he answered matter of factly. Thranduil strode closer, his arms folded behind his back.

„Good. He still owes me my jewels. I will accompany you to make sure he gets the message."

Gandalf's frown deepened. If his suspicions were right and something had come to happen tot he dwarves, the last thing they needed at the moment was a fight over some stupid stones. There would be plenty of time to talk through all of that when the excitement had settled. But Thranduil seemed unmovingly.

„Thranduil, with all respect, I don't think that now is the time to discuss such an issue", Gandalf tried to convince the elf, though he knew that Thranduil would not rest until he got what he wanted.

„It never is for the dwarves, Mithrandir. You should know that." With a small smugly grin, the elven king strode past Gandalf and motioned for Bard to lead the way. Hesitantly, Bard went off, not without casting a questioning glance in the wizard's direction.

„This is _not_ a good idea", Gandalf mumbled to himself and shook his head as he followed the two of them.

Elves just like dwarves, they were all stubborn.

* * *

The tent had become silent. Fili didn't know how much time had passed since his brother's frantic screams had ceased and the only thing he could hear was the blood rushing in his own ears. Thorin had left a while ago, to where Fili did not know. They still didn't allow him to come into the tent. He felt sick. Occasionally, Ori would scurry out of the tent and offer him treats; a cup of tea to relax him, a slice of bread to regain his strengh. Fili would nod every time Ori placed something new besides him, but he did not touch any of his offers. All he wanted was for his brother to walk out of the tent and laugh at him for being so worried. Kili would punch him in the shoulder and stick out his tongue, more than amused that he – once again – had been able to fool his big brother.

But the time passed and the only persons leaving the tent were Ori when he had something new he wanted to distract Fili with and Dwalin who sat down at the other side of the entrance, stuffing his pipe and taking a few deep draws before Oin called for him from the inside. At one point, Bofur had tried to cheer him up by telling him some kind of stupid story that he didn't really listen to.

The worst thing though were the looks they would cast him. For they offered not the tiniest bit of the one thing Fili was really _craving_ for so much.

 _Hope_.

* * *

 **Hello, Hi... I know this story was not much about the brothers but it had to be done, I'm sorry ._.**

 **I hope you still liked it, I put much effort into this one.**

 **Please tell me what you liked and what I can improve :) (also thanks a lot for all the supporting reviews sofar! 3)**

 **See you in the next chapter :)**

 **Thaye**


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